It has been three weeks since our kids' schools have closed their doors and sent out a tentative return date. That date has yet to come and they have already pushed it out two more weeks. By the time they are supposed to return we will have been in each others' spaces for seven whole weeks and a few days. My brain cannot fathom this.
It has been three weeks since my own school has closed its doors and sent out instructions on remote learning with no return date in sight. My face to face community-based child development class has moved online with my other two classes. It was never meant to be online and it is more difficult now than my others. We need interaction with people to learn the essence of this class. We are making do with online resources to keep our community working but it's difficult.
Lance has been out of work for two weeks with no return date in sight. He has been furlough along with the rest of the Kohl's associates nationwide.
This is a scary time. So much uncertainty. So much fear. So little information. So many not making the right decisions for the community as a whole but so many doing everything they can to make sure those around them stay protected, healthy, safe. So many emotions. So many tears...
I have thought about writing during this time to keep my own sanity balanced. Every time it crossed my mind it just didn't seem as important as some of the other things going on in my life. Yesterday, I realized how much I was keeping in trying to keep everyone else okay. I am not great at sharing my feelings but this is a trying time and I feel I need to acknowledge and hold myself accountable for my feelings to be able to function.
Somethings I've learned while being under shelter in place...
* I like being alone and having my own space. Being tucked away in my house with my family is great but it's like I can't breathe sometimes. Everywhere I turn there is a physical being. I have gone from being alone seven or more hours a day to never being alone for three weeks (and more to go) That is an incredible challenge. I am managing and learning but it's tough.
* Homeschooling is not an easy feat. My kids are old enough to hold themselves accountable for what they need to complete but they are also so used to being in a classroom setting and supported not only by a teacher but a room full of classmates. They need collaboration and questions answered and conversations about their school work. We are totally on this and 100% support them in all their needs as best we can. They are amazing online students. We are so proud of them for making such a huge, sudden shift in their schooling and making the best of it.
* Even introverts don't like this level of being alone. We still need friends and meaningful interactions. I miss people. Even those I would see only at pick up and drop off at school!
* I am fairly decent at time management. Or so I thought. I am a 3/4 time college student. Currently finishing up 9 units this semester. Now I have two children who are alone online students that need my support. I have yet to figure out how to make that many hours of my day work. I refuse to fail any of my classes... and I won't... and I will somehow make all this work. My family is amazing, my biggest cheerleaders, always supporting me. Allnighter will have a new definition for me when this is all over. And it will be 100% worth it.
* Ice cream can be perfectly acceptable for dinner occasionally.
* It's okay to not be okay. No matter who you are, how old you are or what is going on or not going on in your life.
My brain is overloaded. My emotions always on the fringe. My mental capacity at a dangerous level. But I know I am not alone. The support and love is endless. This storm will pass and we will move on and remember this as the biggest challenge we have faced in our lives. We will be stronger. We will know more about those around us, ourselves, the world maybe. We will know our breaking points better. What we are willing to let go of and hold on to. The limits we are willing to go to make sure those we love and those who are strangers to us safe, protected and loved.
We are only human. We are capable of amazing things. If only we allow ourselves to do so.
Be Safe. Stay Home. Wash your damn hands.
<3 p="">
It has been three weeks since my own school has closed its doors and sent out instructions on remote learning with no return date in sight. My face to face community-based child development class has moved online with my other two classes. It was never meant to be online and it is more difficult now than my others. We need interaction with people to learn the essence of this class. We are making do with online resources to keep our community working but it's difficult.
Lance has been out of work for two weeks with no return date in sight. He has been furlough along with the rest of the Kohl's associates nationwide.
This is a scary time. So much uncertainty. So much fear. So little information. So many not making the right decisions for the community as a whole but so many doing everything they can to make sure those around them stay protected, healthy, safe. So many emotions. So many tears...
I have thought about writing during this time to keep my own sanity balanced. Every time it crossed my mind it just didn't seem as important as some of the other things going on in my life. Yesterday, I realized how much I was keeping in trying to keep everyone else okay. I am not great at sharing my feelings but this is a trying time and I feel I need to acknowledge and hold myself accountable for my feelings to be able to function.
Somethings I've learned while being under shelter in place...
* I like being alone and having my own space. Being tucked away in my house with my family is great but it's like I can't breathe sometimes. Everywhere I turn there is a physical being. I have gone from being alone seven or more hours a day to never being alone for three weeks (and more to go) That is an incredible challenge. I am managing and learning but it's tough.
* Homeschooling is not an easy feat. My kids are old enough to hold themselves accountable for what they need to complete but they are also so used to being in a classroom setting and supported not only by a teacher but a room full of classmates. They need collaboration and questions answered and conversations about their school work. We are totally on this and 100% support them in all their needs as best we can. They are amazing online students. We are so proud of them for making such a huge, sudden shift in their schooling and making the best of it.
* Even introverts don't like this level of being alone. We still need friends and meaningful interactions. I miss people. Even those I would see only at pick up and drop off at school!
* I am fairly decent at time management. Or so I thought. I am a 3/4 time college student. Currently finishing up 9 units this semester. Now I have two children who are alone online students that need my support. I have yet to figure out how to make that many hours of my day work. I refuse to fail any of my classes... and I won't... and I will somehow make all this work. My family is amazing, my biggest cheerleaders, always supporting me. Allnighter will have a new definition for me when this is all over. And it will be 100% worth it.
* Ice cream can be perfectly acceptable for dinner occasionally.
* It's okay to not be okay. No matter who you are, how old you are or what is going on or not going on in your life.
My brain is overloaded. My emotions always on the fringe. My mental capacity at a dangerous level. But I know I am not alone. The support and love is endless. This storm will pass and we will move on and remember this as the biggest challenge we have faced in our lives. We will be stronger. We will know more about those around us, ourselves, the world maybe. We will know our breaking points better. What we are willing to let go of and hold on to. The limits we are willing to go to make sure those we love and those who are strangers to us safe, protected and loved.
We are only human. We are capable of amazing things. If only we allow ourselves to do so.
Be Safe. Stay Home. Wash your damn hands.
<3 p="">
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