Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
1. Clean skin.
2. A winning smile.
3. That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
1. "Yes, ma'am."
2. "Yes, sir."
3. "Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Y'all come back!"
2. "Well, bless your heart."
3. "Drop by when you can."
4. "How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report:
1. Humidity
2. Humidity
3. Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
1. The beach
2. The rivuh
3. The crick
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
1. Colorful hi-heel sandals
2. Strapless sun dresses
3. Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name:
1. Honey
2. Darlin'
3. Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
1. Fried Green Tomatoes
2. Driving Miss Daisy
3. Steel Magnolias
4. Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
1. Baptist
2. Methodist
3. Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
1. Red-eye gravy
2. Grits
3. Eggs
4. Country ham
5. Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
1. Chawl'stn
2. S'vanah
3. Foat Wuth
4. N'awlins
5. Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
1. Men in uniform.
2. Men in tuxedos
3. Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
1. The Mall
2. The Country Club
3. The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
1. Having bad hair and nails
2. Having bad manners
3. Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
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On ly a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got troubles is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's troubles is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
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Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
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In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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When you h ear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
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And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little pea-pickin heart!
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